9 Powerful Habits to Master Self-Love
The art of self-love can be one of the most difficult habits to learn and maintain.
From an early age, we are bombarded with cultural and societal expectations on how we should look, feel and behave. For many of us, these expectations can be difficult (but not impossible) to unlearn.
Mastering self-love is something that I have been busy researching and investing in for a while now. It's been a journey and there's still a little way to go, but here's a list of self-love habits that have helped me keep moving forward:
1. Ditch the comparisons
As the old saying goes, "comparison is the thief of joy." Your story is no one else's story but yours. Your journey is uniquely yours. Focus your energy on your journey and leave the rest behind. Freeing your mind from what other people are doing and achieving will see an immediate shift in your mindset.
2. Take other people's opinions with a grain of salt
FACT: You cannot keep all of the people happy all of the time.
We all form opinions based on self-interest, values and social influence which means opinions can be skewed by personal bias. The next time someone offers you their opinion or advice, take the time to listen and reflect on what they have to say and decide whether it aligns with you.
3. Find your UVP (Unique Value Proposition)
UVPs are often used in business but you can also apply this principle on a personal basis too. What do you bring to the table? What are your strengths? What makes you unique and special? We all have a UVP. You just need to find yours.
Once you have identified yours, write it down and look at it often to remind you of the special person you are.
4. Accept that you are going to make mistakes
Mistakes are part of the human experience. Everyone makes them. And the biggest mistake we make when it comes to self-love? We beat ourselves up when we don't get things "right".
These are the times when you need to give yourself some grace and compassion. Remember: mistakes are integral to learning and growth.
5. Honour your boundaries
Boundaries are important way to protect your energy and ensure that you are treated and loved the way you deserve to be. Honouring your boundaries is a way of showing yourself that you believe you matter. Don't be afraid to remove toxic people from your life, speak up for yourself or remove yourself from situations that make you feel uncomfortable or do not align with your needs. Learn to say "no".
6. Feel all the feels
We have a tendency to try to mute or suppress those negative emotions that feel difficult or uncomfortable (hello toxic positivity!). But these emotions are just as valuable and important as the feel good ones are. Often, it's these difficult emotions that show us where our true strength lies and gives us the most opportunity for growth.
So from now on I want you to lean into experiencing all the emotions - from the joy to the frustration, and the sadness as well. You will discover more about your true self and that you are not your feelings
7. Carve out some me time
Self-care is one of the most powerful ways to show yourself some self-love. But often we get so busy that we forget to prioritise our own needs. Schedule in time for self-care everyday just as you would any other appointment or obligation and stick to it. Find what brings you joy and fulfils your current needs and just do it! It doesn't need to something big that takes up a lot of time or money. It just needs to be something small just for you every day.
8. Press the mute button
It's time to learn how to turn down the volume on your inner critic (or inner bitch as I like to call her). That critical voice inside your head can be loud and we often speak to ourselves much more harshly than we would ever dare to speak to a loved one or friend.
One of the most effective ways of doing this is to be mindful of our inner dialogue. Notice when these thoughts arise and what led to them. Challenge them and reframe them. A really powerful phrase to use when you notice negative self-talk is "we don't speak that way anymore."
9. The daily check in
I've left my favourite one til last.
The daily check in is such a powerful way to learn about yourself and your needs. And let's face it, depending on what's going on in your life, these needs are going to change on a pretty frequent basis.
You can do a simple mental check in with yourself or you can incorporate it as part of your morning journal practice.
Here are the questions I use to check in with myself:
- How am I feeling today?
- Why am I feeling this way?
- What do I need today?
- How can I achieve this?
As you can see, there are numerous little ways you can start today to give yourself the love and acceptance you deserve. You don't need to do all of these at once. Find one and start there before continuing to build your self-love practice with some of these other strategies.
Until next time,
Celeste x